A 49-year-old Florida woman says her former church is threatening to reveal her sins to its congregation after learning that she is in a “sexually immoral relationship.”
Rebecca Hancock told FOXNews.com that Grace Community Church, a non-denominational church in Jacksonville, Fla., was against her relationship with boyfriend Frank Young because the two were sexually active but not married.
When she wasn’t willing to obey the church’s orders to leave him, she decided to leave the church instead, allowing her two children to remain active members.
Now, she says, church elders have given her the worst ultimatum yet: In a Dec. 8 letter, they told her she either has to meet with them and end her “immoral” relationship or she will face public humiliation.
“Bottom line, on January they 4th they are going to the church publicly with my sins, and my children will be sitting in church at the time,” Hancock told FOXNews.com.
Click here to see a copy of the letter (pdf).
A church leader wouldn’t commit to an interview when contacted Thursday by FOXNews.com. The Rev. T. Scott Christmas, pastor of the church, told the Florida Times-Union that the “process of loving accountability” is made very clear to members, and the church is doing “nothing more than following the practices of what biblical churches have done through history.”
Hancock, who is divorced, said the problems began in March, when she started telling her church mentor about her relationship — in what she thought were confidential conversations.
“As it progressed I told her about it and she said, ‘You’ve got to get out, you’re biblically wrong,’” Hancock said.
Despite knowing her relationship was against church rules, Hancock said she never realized that disclosing it would trigger the first in a three-step process used by the church to deal with sinners: private admonishment, admonishment in the presence of witnesses and finally public admonishment.
Still, she said she tried to follow her mentor’s advice and break up with Young, who wasn’t a member of the church.
“I must have gone through 10 breakups trying to end it, but after not having the power to do it I would go back,” she said. “It was hard to give up somebody I love.”
Hancock learned that her private sessions with her mentor hadn’t been so private after all, when in October her mentor pulled her aside in church and asked her come into another room.
“In the room, there were several women that I never told my business to. And they proceeded to tell me about my business and what I was doing and what a sinner I was — just persecuting me.” Hancock said. “One of the ladies was even saying ‘I was at your house when you didn’t come home all night.’
It was then that Hancock said she decided to leave Grace Community Church.
“I told them, ‘I cannot believe you people are doing this. I’m not going any further — I’m never coming here again,’” she recalled.
Her boyfriend said the church wouldn’t let it end there.
“The pastor kept calling her, and I informed him that she [Hancock] would appreciate it if neither he nor any member of his church contacted her ever again,” Young told FOXNews.com.
Almost two months later, Hancock received the letter from the elders of Grace Community Church, explaining that she had left them no choice but to continue the disciplinary process.
“Your refusal to repent and be restored in your relationship with God and His Church leaves us with no alternative than to carry out the third step of the discipline process,” the letter explained. “In accordance with Matthew 18:17, we intend to ‘tell it to the church.’”
Darrell L. Bock, a research professor for the Dallas Theological Seminary, agrees that public admonishment is not uncommon in churches that focus on discipline but added, “Most churches would handle this much more privately than this particular community is choosing to do.”
This kind of process normally would happen after “much more private interaction” with the person, Block said, and is normally reserved for church leaders as opposed to “a normal member of the church.”
More importantly, he said, the actions are unusual given that Hancock had severed her relationship with the church.
Hancock sent a formal letter of resignation after receiving the elders’ ultimatum in hopes of solving the dispute. She said she fears for her 20-year-old son and 18-year-old daughter if the church carries out its threat.
“I don’t really care what they do to me. But I am concerned about my children sitting in church with their mother being crucified by the church that they trust,” she said. “I am very concerned about how it would affect them.”
Dec 19 2008





December 19th, 2008 5:49 pm
So, umm … She doesn’t want us to know about her fornication?
Uhhh … Maybe it’s just me, but I think her complaint seems a little bit empty, now.
After all, her church probably wasn’t going to call up Fox News. I saw this story first at the Wall Street Journal.
If she was planning on keeping her privacy, this might not have been the best strategy.
You know, just a thought …
December 19th, 2008 5:56 pm
That is what I think, that if she did not want anyone to know, why tell Fox News, LOL…
December 19th, 2008 10:39 pm
This is the first time I have ever heard of a church using biblicl discipline in the 14 years I have walked with the Lord. Now I guess I would not want all my sins worked out in the public forum. I agree that if she wanted it not out in the open Fox News was not the place to go. interesting.
December 19th, 2008 11:59 pm
Honestly,
It’s not the church’s business what she does, or anyone for that matter, just because you have the same faith and you go to the same church, doesn’t give them the right to say anything. The church lies and sins. No man is pure. EVRYONE sins, this was just dumb. It’s between her and God what she does with her life. Not anyone else’s.
As for going to the media, eh, people are stupid.
December 19th, 2008 8:40 pm
I get your thought, Wickle, and indeed, she called the bluff, didn’t she. If they were going to do it in a biblical fashion, then their was no problem, but she took it to a new level.
December 19th, 2008 10:41 pm
I guess if she wanted to keep it close, besides not going to the media, maybe she could have gone to CNN?
December 20th, 2008 12:03 am
Vanessa, the Church is a community and that community must care for the weaker ones. Church discipline is called for, but in the way proscribed in Matthew 18. I am not going to sit in judgment of neither of the parties, but I do think it a bit crazy for it to have wound up in the media.