Understanding the Mind of the Chalmation, Jeremy Thompson

An individual that belongs to one of many small communities throughout the U.S.. Originally found only in the “Parish”, these nomads can be recognized by using such terms as “scattered gravy”, “how’s ya momma and dem”, “up da road”, and “make groceries”. (from a very recognizable knowledge base)

Perhaps you don’t realize you know a Chalmation? Indeed, you do.

Jeremy Thompson, Chalmation

That’s right, Jeremy Thompson. You see, Jeremy, while he may claim on Facebook to be from New Orleans, is really from Chalmette, Louisiana. As I have state before, Chalmette is as far from New Orleans as 38bce is from 2010ce, or as the distance which separates Jeremy and good blogging. It’s like saying that Jason is a Texan. Or that Jim West is an Ariminian. Or that Rodney is funny.

As far as the title of my post, you can’t understand the mind of the Chalmation, really. I’ve tried, but to no avail. From what I understand, it is a murky as the Gulf of Mexico. They do have a Facebook page devoted to trying to help them, though, which might help in a cure for these souls.

I am sure that we could raise money to help in this project. First, we need money to bring them up to speed, at least up to the middle of the 20th century. That is going to take a very long time, and lots of money. But, more importantly, some kindness for them, in their condition. Remember, it is genetic and not a choice. Chalmations were born that way, but thanks to your donations, they don’t have to stay that way. We can pray the Chalmation away, or beat them until it is gone. Honestly, if you think about it, the beating part sounds like a lot more fun. A good concussion never hurt anyone. Besides, a little facial reconstruction surgery might even help one or two of ‘em.

We wish Jeremy the best in trying to hide the fact that he is a Chalmation, but while you may get out of Chalmette, Chalmette never gets out of you.

Posted on June 16, 2010 at 9:05 am by Joel · Permalink
In: Other Posts · Tagged with: ,
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  • drjewest

    arminius was a foul breathed dog.

  • http://pastoralmusings.com JasonS

    Chalmations did not drown during Katrina as Nephilim did in the flood.
    They are now alive and well on the North Shore of Lake Ponchartrain defiling the world with their horribly mutilated form of English, and always talking about how things were back when they were in Saint Buh-nahd!
    Let's hope that Jeremy, at least, will take the time in his studies to learn English……….true, Southern English such as is spoken in Pearl River County, MS, or Tangipahoa Parish, LA. If he can learn to drawl instead of Chalmate there may be hope for him :-)

  • http://freeoldtestamentaudio.com Jeremy

    Tsk, tsk, tsk … Actually, Joel I am a New Orleans native. I was born in New Orleans and lived on the west bank of the city until I was 8 years old. I then moved to Chalmette, which I always have considered home. Chalmette is awesome and the people that live there are awesome.

  • http://thechurchofjesuschrist.us/ Polycarp

    See, another symptom…delusions.

  • http://thechurchofjesuschrist.us/ Polycarp

    Somehow, I got that from reading your blog

  • http://thechurchofjesuschrist.us/ Polycarp

    Yes, indeed. Chalmate is more of a cross of verbal sign language performed by one armed person and someone who speaks with a glass full of marbles, but their may be hope.

  • http://pastoralmusings.com JasonS

    After a DixPack of Sixie, I must say that there's one almost mistake in this blog post- I lived in Texas for almost two years, and then repented :-)
    (No, I don't drink. On the other hand, Joel and Jeremy surely know the story behind the DixPack of Sixie…Fried Onion Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings! ….three french breads, etc)

  • http://pastoralmusings.com JasonS

    What I don't understand is why Jeremy is withholding the latest BB rankings. I'm having DTs like a Bourbon St bum in Touro and he won't post our rankings!

  • http://freeoldtestamentaudio.com Jeremy

    Jim actually posted some rankings for May, so I didn't feel the need. I'll be coming back at that at the end of June. And, yes I'm familiar with the DixPack of Sixie both in reality and in song.

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